Kim Kardashian has admitted that she doesn’t believe Keeping Up With the Kardashians would be as popular as it is today had her infamous sex tape with Ray J not been leaked in 2007. Kim and other members of her family recently sat down with Andy Cohen for a KUWTK reunion.

“Looking back, probably not,” Kim said when asked about the show’s success without the scandal. “I think that everything happens for a reason, and I really try to, like, live like that. And every time there’s, like, something and a crazy scandal that feels like you can’t breathe and how are you going to get through this, it always is a lesson. Even if it’s a private lesson, or even if it’s just something that we didn’t know we had to go through.”

Kim Kardashian, KUWTK
Michael Loccisano / Getty Images

She added: “That is something that I have to live with for the rest of my life. That is something that’s, like, being held over my head. I try not to have any regrets, but it’s probably the one thing that I wish didn’t exist, and if I could erase any of the stupid things that I’ve done in life, that’s probably it. And it’s more so from being a mom than anything.”

The first episode of KUWTK aired on October 14, 2007. The sex tape was released less than a year earlier in February 2007.

The second part of the KUWTK reunion will air Sunday, June 20.